Tuesday November 29, 2011 | 1 comment
There’s a theory in theoretical physics that explains and links all known phenomena. It is rather aptly called “the theory of everything,” and is sometimes also known as the final theory. In fact, it is sort of along the lines of the whole “a butterfly flapping a wing in China can cause a hurricane” thing. While physicists frantically try to prove this – it’s not all that easy to unify general relativity and quantum mechanics – it’s possible for us to derive our own theories based on that sort of concept. For example, I’d like to introduce the “tea string theory.” Disregarding for a moment that the name is a direct ripoff of string theory and doesn’t exactly have to do with anything, my theory states that tea can be linked to everything within our lives. In an attempt to prove this theory, I’ll examine my own daily activities and point out the overlaps.
My first class is biology. Pertaining to the current unit, which is genetics, let’s see what happens when we cross certain kinds of tea. Let’s go with … pomegranate green tea and mint black tea. Assuming that all genes assort independently, and that the green tea has two dominant pomegranate alleles, and that the black tea has two dominant mint alleles, that would give us either co-dominance or incomplete dominance. For the sake of trying to figure out what sort of weird plant is produced when combining those two things, we’ll go with co-dominance and say the product is a heterozygous mint-pomegranate tea, which is a little farfetched.
English class can’t be too difficult; after all, it’s already been established that tea appears in literature. However, we’re reading a very select set of books this year. For example, I’m sure they had tea back in Romeo and Juliet’s time. And we read the Cask of Amontillado, by Poe. Wine isn’t that different from tea, right? My sustained silent reading book, Wicked, had some of the characters drinking tea. Fair enough, we’ll go with that.
Third period is speech and debate. It’s not much of a struggle to come up with how tea relates to that. I’m sure someone did an expository speech on tea. Or debated the merits and disadvantages of tea. Tea versus coffee? Of course. All sorts of links in this class.
Moving on to geometry. I suppose we can calculate the volume and surface area of a mug. Or the volume of the tea. The ratio of tea consumed per person would also work, such as 1:1, one cup of tea for every one person. Or 1:10, depending on how tea enthused (or unenthused) the class is. What about the viscosity of tea? Granted, it’s probably the same as water, and that might have a little bit more to do with chemistry than math, but close enough. Science is a loosely defined subject, after all.
Spanish. In that language, tea is té. Go figure. Now, we could probably go through the rest of the subjects that exist, but I believe the theory holds true. Tea can be linked to everything within our lives.