In the movies, romance and sex are often accompanied by wine and candles.  Let’s keep the candles, but consider changing the beverage.  First, however, let’s take a look at relationships.

For those of us in long-term committed relationships, it’s helpful to schedule some time for intimacy.  Our lives are so busy that it can easily fall to the end of the list of things we’d like to do.  As a psychologist for 25 years, I often recommended this to couples coming for marital therapy.  Interestingly, however, their initial response was usually a negative one and it revolved around spontaneity.  Yes, in the movies, sex is always spontaneous and passionate.  But in real life, that’s not always possible.  Planning time for each other can really make a difference, away from the distractions of work, kids, and the list of tasks we all should be doing.

Now’s the time to get those candles lit.  I like to start by brewing a favorite pot of tea in a tetsubin pot.  By serving my partner a small cup of tea by candlelight, it really begins the journey of our senses.  Before the desire for a second cup of tea, we’re usually enjoying ourselves sexually and getting lost in the moment.  Once we’re back to breathing normally, we’re typically parched and a cup of tea is just perfect to rehydrate ourselves.  The tetsubin allows the tea to maintain some warmth, while providing a perfect temperature that is both cooling and refreshing.

I must say it’s a perfect combination.  The tea to begin your romantic encounter signals the shift away from the pressures of the day and the post-coital tea hits the spot by rejuvenating as well as maintaining the delicious calm and peacefulness from a delightful time in bed with your lover.

Let me know how it works for you.

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