Dear Aunt Tea,

My wife, a recovering psychologist, tells me I have HTSD, or Hoarding Tea Stuff Disorder. I have 17 Tetsubin pots; a purple clay pot for each green tea I drink – that would be 11; a couple gai wans, a zojirushi, a tea ceremony tray, and a few kilos of pu’erh . . . nothing big. Counting the artisan pots, the antiques, the cups, the glasses, the teas and the tins, it all fits into a 25 foot U-Haul, easy. What’s the fuss?

– Roo Boy

Dear RB,

I’m with you, Roo; no one can have too many tea treasures! Your wife is obviously suffering from TLTS – Too Little Tea Syndrome. Perhaps you should make her a cup right now! Auntie

Dear Aunt Tea,

I am a twenty-year-old college student. I do not drink alcohol, I don’t drink coffee, and I don’t smoke any of the herbals so often associated with college campuses. I am an avid tea drinker, and have more tea than popcorn or top ramen in my apartment. Do you think I have a chance for a college romance?

– Alone with my Oolong

Dear Alone,

Remain cautious. College guys have one thing on their minds. No matter what they say about respect, or really caring about you as a person, guys are hard-wired for one thing. All guys want is to get into your tea stash. We women are more careful with our tea, and don’t share it with just anyone. You need to be on the lookout for a nice tea geek. Your best shot is a Philosophy or Psychology major; although great geeks have been found in Mathematics and Russian Studies. And, of course, never serve your best tea on the first date. Auntie

Dear Aunt Tea,

I am a stockbroker. In this market, I may as well read tea leaves. Which tea is the best for this purpose?

– Wall Street

Dear Wall Street,

There is no predictabili-tea. Sorry. Auntie